2007 skit 04 Oct 2008
18-1
Super Bowl
A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?
The man replies, "Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?"
"No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral."
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?
The man replies, "Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?"
"No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral."
Labels: humor
Al-gebra
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a Public School teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a T-square, a slide rule, and
a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Michael Mukasey said
he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He
is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Michael Mukasey said. "They desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in a search of absolute value.
They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the
Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every
triangle'"
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes."
be a Public School teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a T-square, a slide rule, and
a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Michael Mukasey said
he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He
is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Michael Mukasey said. "They desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in a search of absolute value.
They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the
Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every
triangle'"
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes."
Labels: humor
